Something of value

Sheffield Coaching Exchange last Monday night. A record turn out, perhaps reflecting a new year resolve to connect and get out there a little more. But almost certainly boosted by a fascination with the topic under discussion - values, guaranteed to have any coach worth their salt drooling in anticipation. And controversial too. The debate was over whether or not it is possible to change values, to actually decide that something that is important to you no longer is, so that you can get on with the business of being happier and more fulfilled. Something like, I have this value of integrity but it is darned inconvenient and stops me from having an easy life at times, wouldn't it be nice if I could let it go? After all, you can change your beliefs, sometimes in a nano-second, and no coach I know would consider that to be at all controversial. But values? It felt too much like radical psycho cosmetic surgery - hard to argue against the positive short term feel good factor but at the risk of messing with a core sense of identity? Or are the values we live by just as much a product of our conditioning as our limiting beliefs and therefore fair game for a makeover any time they cause us anxiety or pain?