jeni starfish

101 great questions to ask yourself - no 5

What wants to change?

As a coach I firmly believe in setting a positive intent when it comes to goals. Sometimes you have to recognise that things are a "need" or a "must" for change. And then put yourself in the way of giving yourself every support to carry it through. Because, as Mae West so rightly said, I can resist everything but temptation. There's a special delight, though, when you find that you actually "want" to make a change that you have been struggling with and then things suddenly get very easy indeed. This just happened with me and the demon drink...

Change something today

"True life is lived when tiny changes occur"

Leo Tolstoy

It is not always the big changes of your life that have the most impact. Sometimes waiting for the right time and conditions before you take massive action has the effect of keeping you much longer in stasis and inertia, and when the time comes to take the action, you find you don't have the muscle for it. So you are going to start that diet, give up smoking and begin your new exercise regime in the New Year; what's the point of starting now, with all the temptations of the festive season just round the corner? The point is exactly that. To start. The change you make now, small and significant, is that one that helps you live your true life, and not your imagined life. Be a secret agent of change today and notice how good it makes you feel.

Beware of hanger appeal

Yesterday I had a very indulgent morning, made all the sweeter because I could justify it as part of developing my still-feels-new-even-after-two-and-a-half-years identity as a professional coach and (now) author. I went shopping. For clothes.

It's my belief there are two main strategies for clothes shopping, at least if you are female. The first is to take along your best friend and be prepared to abandon the trip for emergency chocolate if the sizes in your favorite store suddenly and mysteriously seem to have undergone an Italian job (that is, they will only fit an undersized, pre-pubescent principessa). The second is to take a professional best friend who will steer you through the dangers of hanger appeal, keep you away from the chocolate, and make you feel like the whole experience is the most fun you have ever had whilst spending just a bit too much money. I went for the second strategy and took Natalia Colman, image consultant and all round Fab Female. 

Best before it makes you feel bad

Every so often it happens, doesn't it? You carefully select a piece of fresh looking meat or fish, cook it lovingly and with just a little dash of Nigella panache, and an hour later you are writhing in agony from food poisoning or an allergic reaction. This happened in our household a week or so ago and it was far from pleasant. Afterwards I wondered if the timing of this was significant in some kind of cosmic advice and guidance sense. I have been increasingly drawn to opting for a less carnivorous existence and my evening of throbbing head, nausea, elevated blood pressure and blurred vision, has gone a fair way to moving me further into the world of all things (mostly) vegetarian.

I was reminded of this at the weekend as I listened to the excellent Charles Faulkner present on Exploring Inner Worlds during a weekend of NLP mastery with PPD Learning. "Feelings," he reminded us, "are not date stamped." And it's true - you never know when a bad one is going to pop up from your past and spoil a present moment for you.

 

Widdershins round the pool

Bonfire night may be over but the fireworks are still blazing in the sky. Apart from the effect it has on my cats, I love it, and I relish this little flurry of firey ostentation before everyone gets into the serious business of panicking about the approach of Christmas. This time of year always seems very pagan to me - even the frost in the early morning makes it look like a spell has been cast over the earth during the night. So this morning, after my workout at the gym, I decided to get into the spirit of mischief for no particular reason.