jeni starfish

A good run to be alive

No loneliness of the long distance runner for me. Every Wednesday morning I've scheduled a training run with running buddy Victoria. (I'm also collecting other running enthusiasts to mentor, inspire and, if necessary, bully me oh-so-kindly into seeing through my commitment. Self direction is all very well but why make it harder for yourself when there are a gazillion people out there ready to gee you up when the morning frost threatens to keep you under the duvet?)

Today we gossiped about the new showhouses in the village. Scandalous price and a dining room that will only fit a table for 4, despite the five bedrooms that imply more than the standard 2.2 offspring. I told Victoria about my current foray into Chinese remedies - the acupuncture's a doddle but the herbal tea has you retching. Is it normal to feel worse before you feel better? Probably.

101 great questions to ask yourself - no 5

What wants to change?

As a coach I firmly believe in setting a positive intent when it comes to goals. Sometimes you have to recognise that things are a "need" or a "must" for change. And then put yourself in the way of giving yourself every support to carry it through. Because, as Mae West so rightly said, I can resist everything but temptation. There's a special delight, though, when you find that you actually "want" to make a change that you have been struggling with and then things suddenly get very easy indeed. This just happened with me and the demon drink...

Book launch celebration

  On Saturday night I succeeded in gathering together my nearest and dearest for a very private celebration of the launch of my book back in November. It has been held over until January because well, I feel that January needs a bit of sparkle and pzazz. Plus it's my birthday month so I owe it to the god Janus to pay homage. So here we are, mostly family, and some friends who managed to squeeze into the shot. Yes, there is a bit of red eye and not everyone was quite ready for the camara click but I think it captures the mood of the evening pretty well. It was a very special day for me; a chance to say thank you to the people who have inspired me most over the years. People travelled from as far afield as Brighton and Zurich to get there (the latter may well have been the quicker journey) and my fellow coaches did me proud by facilitating games and activities in the afternoon. Carol, my opera diva, sang sweetly for me as did my adorable better-than-boy-band nephew David, causing all the women in range to fall instantly in love with him.   

Change something today

"True life is lived when tiny changes occur"

Leo Tolstoy

It is not always the big changes of your life that have the most impact. Sometimes waiting for the right time and conditions before you take massive action has the effect of keeping you much longer in stasis and inertia, and when the time comes to take the action, you find you don't have the muscle for it. So you are going to start that diet, give up smoking and begin your new exercise regime in the New Year; what's the point of starting now, with all the temptations of the festive season just round the corner? The point is exactly that. To start. The change you make now, small and significant, is that one that helps you live your true life, and not your imagined life. Be a secret agent of change today and notice how good it makes you feel.

101 great questions to ask yourself - No 4

What project, task or goal needs to spend some time in the waiting room?

Life is pretty hectic for me at the moment and as usual I have taken on way too much for the time I actually have available. There are so many pretty, shiny things out there to enjoy that I want it all now. I'm just a girl who can't say no, and were it not for the fact that I have been happily married for two decades (child bride, you see) this endearing trait might well have got me into trouble on more than just the time management front over the years.

Letting go isn't something that comes naturally and nor does giving in. But I do know that energy spread too thinly turns into hot air, so this morning I did a brave thing. I consigned something to the Waiting Room.

Starfish gets giddy in Borders

The publication of Life Coaching for Dummies has sent me into a giddy spin, that's for sure. I held the book in my hands for the first time on Tuesday 7th November at 3.25pm precisely and although I haven't experienced this for myself, I'm guessing it really is something like holding your first-born for the first time, but maybe without all the preceeding physical pain.

The last week or so has been full of firsts - first copy held, first copy signed, first copy sold, first chance to promote the book to a group of fellow coaches who gratified me with roof raising applause when I told my story of how I got published. And yesterday, first sighting of book on a shelf at a real bookstore! I had to bully the poor bookseller though, but she told me afterwards she didn't mind.

101 great questions to ask yourself - No 2

Here's one to keep daydreamers on track:

What am I doing right now that's moving me towards my goals?

Actually, I'm a bit of a daydreamer myself and sometimes that's exactly what is required to move me forward. I get quite a lot of inspiration from staring at clouds on a frequent basis. But I do need to catch myself before the cloud watching turns into an aimless, meandering reverie when there are also exciting, goal-oriented actions to be taken. Knowing I'm getting the balance right for me helps me to enjoy the cloud watching all the more, and appreciate how it provides me with energy to tackle the TODO list. Try asking yourself this question several times a day, and if you don't like the answer, take one tiny and significant action that does move you closer to the results you want. The clouds will still be there for you...