jeni starfish

The story behind starfish

People have always asked me about the starfish connection and so I tell them the story. They smile and nod, in much the way I did when I came across the familiar little tale again as I was beginning to commit to coaching as my career. I knew in that instant that it encapsulated my core beliefs about my work and the changes we make for ourselves through coaching. And so it became my personal brand. 

I don't know why I've never thought to put the story on my blog. I have now, and am delighted to share it with you, no matter how many times you have heard it or read it before. It's a real pleasure for me to give it central stage in this space for so many reasons, not least that this version is my very own, which was immeasurably improved and enhanced by the other writer in the family, Ali. So we both made a difference.

Tell me what it means for you...

Award winning glory feels so good...

It hardly seems possible that my last post was back in early March but I can't argue with The Calendar. I tried that once and lost, by quite a margin. Still, it's good to report that my absence on the blog front has been as a result of pleasant and productive busy-ness, not to mention (but I so will, and in fact, it is the main, perhaps only, point of this post) being crowned with glory and winning the Everywoman Network Award for best home page www.livingrightnow.co.uk

OK, I didn't pull that one off all by myself.

Stepping into the light

Well, whatever happened to January and February?!

One of the reasons that I choose to be a Happiness Coach is that age old principle - we teach best what we most need to learn. OK, I'll amend that statement somewhat. As a coach I do not presume to "teach." Rather I trust that in working with my clients I inspire and facilitate the discovery of truths that are already within them and available to them. Nor am I a miserable, mardy faced doom and gloom sort of gal who needs a constant reminder to cheer up. Far from it, as I hope anyone who knows me will attest. Positivity is my natural state. Is why I feel so at odds when negativity bites.

But happiness isn't simply positivity. Happiness can't really be seen or experienced in our lives when we rely on positivity alone. Happiness is sometimes felt in contrast. And it's also posssible to be happy whilst experiencing painful events and learning unpleasant lessons. So it's a complex thing and it fascinates me.

I do know for sure that my life's purpose is to be happy, because I know that when I touch my own happiness and when I sincerely reach for it, great things happen, for me, for people around me and for the world I live in.  

And what I have found is that sometimes contented and joyful happiness needs to lie a little fallow before blossoming once more into its next phase. It has done for me over the last few weeks. The challenges of life have sometimes seemed a little tougher and I've let slip some of the things that make me happiest, because it's been important, for any number of reasons, to notice what's going on in my inner world and to make the necessary adjustments. Time was that would have freaked me out and I'd have thought I'd lost my plot.

Now I see it for what it is. Growth. 

So it's nearly spring, actually the first day of March. A beautiful sunny Sunday morning. I am looking forward to the arrival of a special house guest who over the next 6 weeks will be helping me to step into my light and see what my new growth has brought. 

A dear friend sent me a beautiful card recently with these words:

Life is slippery, here take my hand

We all need a helping hand, even if it is only to reach out our own and let it point the way to our new direction. So if you've been a little in the dark yourself over this long winter, reach out your hand and join me in this brave new light.

  

A new year's day jeni kitten to make you smile

You deserve an explanation.

I wrote a version of my previous post not just another year for my weekly column in The Press. In it, I talk about 2008 being rainbow-coloured and cat-like (check it out below if that makes no sense...) Since the word count came in a little light I helpfully suggested as I emailled it over that they might want to source a suitable image to go with my pearls of wisdom. 

This is what came back for my approval.

I SO do approve!

Sadly, they can't use it. Something about too many colours. Yeah, that'll be the reason. Pity. But at least in this post I can be rainbow cat woman. 

Puuurrrrrrr....... 

Not just another year...

What kind of year has 2008 been for you? If it was a colour, an animal, or a state of being, how would you name it?

For me, 2008 has been rainbow coloured. And of course you can’t have a rainbow without both sun and rain.

It has been a cat – sometimes kitten-like, soft and purry, yet often roaring, power-possessed and more than a little scary, like the wildest of lions.

And it has been ALIVE.  Good ALIVE, in the sense of happy, joyful and mostly present. And not so comfortable ALIVE in the sense of challenging, gritty and “just you listen to me then as I throw you another obstacle to avoid or build another hurdle for you to scale ...”

Not a year to ignore.

Not just another year.

A year that won’t come again.

A year of lessons learned and of growing pains. 

A year with some regrets, perhaps? And also so much to take pride in.

As you contemplate the good, the bad and the ugly of this year now passing, you can sigh with some relief that it is almost over and you can smile with great appreciation for all that it has given you. You can look ahead to new beginnings, possibility and potential. Each day is a new start and January 1st 2009 is another new day. Begin well, and claim your golden year to come.

 

Leaving you with my favourite photo from my great nephew's  christening which took place on Sunday.

Entitled simply: Great Gran and Charles William 

 

In the days that are to come, may you benefit from the wisdom of your years and the trusting innocence of the child ever present within you. 

Wishing you peace, love and joy, now and always.

Come out of the shadows

I want to share with you some words from an amazing woman I am working with at the moment. Like all of us she is on her journey, and seeing with fresh eyes how miraculous her life is and can be. She has begun to write poetry as a way to reflect and make meaning out of her growing self awareness and she brought these lines to our work together today. They touched me and so I asked for her permission to offer them out to the world, as a gift to you, dear readers. She said YES, which is really the only possible response to your life. So here they are...

Come out of the Shadows and into The Light

When the voices right beside you

hear distant through the haze;

When your smile is numb to your tips

yet firmly fixed to your face;

When your body moves slowly

through life like it’s in sand;

When your heart beats blood

only to survive on land;

When you’re at your lowest ebb

and even death you don’t dread;

That’s when you are forced to choose.

Choose to shed the burden of non-emotion;

To start to feel a life devotion;

To let your senses live again;

To engage your body, soul and brain.

Choose to live

Not to exist

Turn your face to the sun

Feel the lift.

 

Amanda

December 2008

 

And yes, I do know that jeni starfish ranges from the ridiculous to the sublime. So does life. In fact, it is the whole joy of life, so I make no apologies for it.  

Thank you, Amanda, and thank you to all my truly amazing clients who inspire me more than they could ever guess.  

starfish breaches national security - impossible!

So I was gridlocked in the centre of Leeds just now for the best of part of an hour, trying to find my way to Bewley's hotel, where I was due to meet the ever charming Bobby Gill, who had agreed to initiate me into the mysteries of Facebook. (Poking? What, please?)

In anticipating those joys I had quite forgotten the equal and opposite terrors of traffic and rush hour in a city such as Leeds (I live in a very big village, or at least that's how York feels) so I was by turns frustrated at the gridlock and then suffused with gratitude that I so rarely have to suffer it. But, said suffusion notwithstanding, I admit that by the time I had circled that start-of-the-motorway bit three times trying to locate the hotel car park, I was well back into frustration mode.

I finally drive into what I believe is the car park and no...something odd here. Just doesn't feel like a hotel car park. The door to the lift to Reception has one of those key code pads. I call the hotel and they sound a wee bit puzzled but try to describe a door which manifestly does not have a key code pad. I am beginning to char-broil with frustration. Thankfully, at that moment someone opens the offending door and I slip through.

And the lift is also key coded.

Who do you appreciate?

Marion Ryan (lawyer of attraction) does not only design great blogsites, she also has truly great ideas and her most recent one is a blog in which she invites the world to celebrate 2008 as it blends into 2009. I've posted on it (and tearfully got through a whole box of paper hankies whilst typing away) and I noticed the other day that it is gathering momentum as more and more people add their bit. Seems it may have been the worst of years and it has also managed to be the best of years for so many.

Go take a look and cheer yourself up by posting about what YOU appreciate. Of course number one on the list must be the irregular ramblings of jeni starfish, that's a given dear ones. After that, feel free to honour whatever you will in your life that makes you truly grateful. There will be a whole lot more than you realise.

Hankies at the ready though...

Click here...

Appreciate 2008

  

Celebration tree

I am officially getting into the Christmas spirit, much earlier than usual. Tomorrow is card writing day and I have a plan. It is foolproof and involves roping my mother into writing her own cards at the same time whilst our dinner is cooking (she is visiting me tomorrow) and not being allowed to eat until we have done them! We both like our food (especially a sunday roast) so that is one BIG incentive. So look out for post from jenistarfish if you are on her Christmas card list and yes, it just may be the first year in around two decades that I have actually succeeded in getting them out before Christmas Eve. Phew!

And I got my tree today! A tiny little table top one to go in my tiny little cosy home. It is a growing thing of beauty in a red pot and I got talking to the nice boys at Pextons (the best hardware shop in York..there is NOTHING they do not sell or cannot source!) about what a pity it is that we don't have a festive tree all year round.

And yes, you guessed it. The gently rebellious child in me (WHAT has got into me lately?!) said well, why ever not?

Are you living right now?

The reason I am down in Ealing this week (apart from to visit toyshops and let my inner child out to whoop around - see previous post) is that I am play-working with the lovely Marie Taylor on our Living Right Now brand.

We are mostly finishing off our book and preparing some rather delectable reflective activity cards, both of which will be available this side of Christmas or in the New Year.

2009 is going to be a great year for both of us as we start to see the impact of Living Right Now on all those gorgeous, successful, creative women out there who become part of our new community.

If you want to take a look at our offering and are yourself one of those gorgeous women, or even if you are a gorgeous man who is in touch with his feminine energy, then you can  click below, enjoy the post and jump off from it to explore our new site.

The Wisdom of Women

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(Oh, and if you like the Living Right Now logo then you should know that it was designed by the very talented Martin Fisher at This Is Chemistry whilst the site itself was put together by the equally talented Marion Ryan of Ready Steady Blog both of whom in our opinion really and truly "get it" when it comes to delivering what the customer needs and wants to the point of "the earth moved for us" delight...) 

Spell it out

Today I went into a toy shop in Ealing and bought coloured wooden letters spelling out my first name in full (Jenifer) which I am going to affix to my bedroom door using blutack. There are two serious reasons behind this apparently frivolous purchase.

Reason number 1.    My mum is always going on at me about how I call myself Jeni not Jenifer and why do I do that? when she went to the bother of choosing not only a very beautiful name for me but also enlisting my sister's help in deciding on the single "n" because they both knew I was going to grow up into one of those awkward types who like to be pretentious.

Reason number 2.    Whilst I know which room I sleep in, my cats are clearly confused since they keep trying to sneak into my bedroom and use it as their own boudoir even though they DO know it is out of bounds for cats. I think with a little clarity and signage they will get the message. And if not, it's back to the cheap cat food for them.

OK.

I admit it.

The real reason is I like toyshops.

And my inner child is utterly uncontrollable right now.

Tears before bedtime, Jenifer...